Loving Yourself

Love is a simple word yet people tend to make it complex! U receive what you give and vice versa. Life is a full circle, if its dark today, tomorrow there will be light. If its day then its followed by night. If there is a head then there is a tail. Every thing has its own beauty. Difficult times teach us lessons to move forward in our journey and discover our inner strength. As very well said by Leanord Cohen

“There is a crack in everything, thats how light comes in.”

The truth is, before you expect love from others, learn to love yourself first. If you don’t love yourself completely, then why complain others don’t?

Be compassionate, loving , caring and responsible for your own well being. Maintain a balance between your mind and heart. Mind will always play tricks on you but heart will tell you the truth. Bring balance in your life by taking care of your needs, emotions and health. Dalai Lama says “The purpose of one’s life is to be happy.” For this you have to consciously make an effort everyday.

There are simple things you can do:

1. Excercise . Some form of physical excercise is very important to keep you moving. Maintain the physical strengh to get through the day. Even 5 to 15 minutes of quick workout can be very helpful. Please take care of yourself give atleast 5 mins to your health. I personally do yoga. It balances both mind and body.

2. Eat well and eat healthy. Its always good to have your meals on time and short meals at shorter duration. Please don’t deprive yourself of that, you owe it to your body. Choose the diet plan which suits you but have your balanced meal.

3. Pick up a hobby. Idle mind is a devil’s workshop. If you are not working full time, its more than necessary to pick a hobby or follow what you are passionate about. Daily , weekly , monthly what ever fits your current regime, follow your hobby. Keep yourself busy with constructive and creative things.

4. Learn to say No. Its OK to say NO for things you don’t want to do or do not believe in. You have not taken birth on this planet to please everyone. Its impossible to please and keep everyone happy so say no when you strongly believe it should be a No.

5. Have Gratitude. Believe me, this is one I can vouch for. Having gratitude and value of what I have instantly lifts me up. If you are having a bad day, think of the good things you already have in your life and feel blessed. There are many people on this planet who do not even get a single meal in a day. Always thank the universe for the things and people you have in your life.

6. Do service. There are so many people in this world who need your help. Do help others in whatever capacity you can without expecting anything in return. You will be blessed with lot of love.

7. Expect less from others. This one is tough but really works. Stop expecting others to give you what you can give yourself. Do not beg, even for love, affection, validation and companionship. It will always disappoint you. You are complete. Do not seek others to complete you. If you depend on others for your emotional stability and well being you will always loose.

8. Have faith. Have faith in your own power. Perseverance and patience can achieve anything in life. Atleast it will keep you focused on your life purpose. Have faith in your abilities and always give positive affirmations to yourself. Even if negative thoughts come, let them. The key is not to dwell on them. Slowly, but firmly replace them with positive ones.

9. Practice mindfulness. Live in the moment. You cannot change the past and cannot control future. So what do you do? You start living in the moment! Love what is. Every difficult moment will be replaced by a happier one thats the law of nature and universe.
Practice any form of meditation to control your thoughts. Living in the moment will keep you balanced and at peace also keep you connected with your inner self.

10. Do not be judgemental. Everyone has their own story. You just don’t know it. Its best to be compassionate than judge others. Its not always black or white, it can be grey as well. Judging others is like getting into a black hole of broken relationships. Empathy is the medicine that can be used to bridge the gap between you and the other, not judgement.

If you are already doing the above mentioned things, then my friend, you do love yourself and it will resonate with others and attract best in your life. If not, its never late to start. Please feel free to comment and share your thoughts. Blessings and love…

My trip to the amusement park!

img-20161230-wa0031Oh really ? Amusement park! My first reaction was , what will I do at the age of 41 in an amusement park? But you got to do what you need to do for kidsūüėÄ. So we decided just before the New year to finally make the Visit. I packed the bags with all the essentials and for emergency ¬†( still something is always left out!) Put loads of sunscreen on me and the girls , put the right footwear and outfit ( It has an amazing water park too) and went right for it. Inevitably we were behind the schedule and I thought its not possible to cover the whole park today. For some reason I was not feeling too well but did not want to postpone the trip.

When we reached, the kids got super excited and at the entrance we came to know that it had 6 different parks to cover! What a task, I was already feeling exhausted in the mind.

First one we chose was the ‘Scream park’. Believe me, when it comes to showing courage and bravery in the ghost world, I prefer to run in the other direction. Somehow I mustered all the courage and stood in the queue for the haunted house tour. After good 30 mins, we entered the horror zone and suddenly a Zombie from nowhere jumped in front of me and I had the most horrible shriek that I am sure that fake zombie must have also shivered!

Next park to cover was the adventure park and the roller coaster! I said to myself, bring it on baby I am ready. It took us 45 minutes after that statement to step onto the roller coaster. Phew! That was some ride. I felt as if I have accomplished a milestone. I felt if I could do this, I could even climb Mount Everest! I was all pumped up. But my excitement was short lived as soon as I saw the ‘Pirates revenge’ That ship literally did a 360 degree in the air and just watching that, my dream of climbing the Mt Everest vanished. I decided to skip it but my kids did it anyway. After doing couple of more rides and my head spinning of dizziness, we decided to go the water park.

Now there is lot of physics going on in the water park and how they designed each slide. Some of the slides were at such a height that just to reach the entrance I had to climb hundred stairs and carry a big double tube along. I was so excited by the look of it ( so many twists and turns) I completely disregarded my dizziness, pain in the knee ( lack of vitamin D) and on coming dehydration and reached the top! And whoosh , I came sliding down on the double tube with my daughter and had the most amazing time. It was so thrilling and exhilarating, I did it again !

After covering almost all the parks but not all the rides, we reached the final park ‘Nicklodeon’. I was in awe! But was too tired for anymore rides. So decided to take a break, sip cola and relax. The girls went on. Now the park was about to close so my husband and I went looking for the girls and spotted them climbing down the stairs after doing one of the water slides. They had such an expression of joy, happiness, surprise, unexpected achievement ¬†(all in one), that I just felt so happy just seeing their faces. They urged me to do the water slide and experience what they had. Believe me, it was the one of the best! After all, the trip to the amazing amusement park was worth it. ¬† At the end of the trip I realized that, truly age is just a number, never miss out on moments of fun. Will I do it again. Why not?

Starting over again

When you face a situation, u have three choices to make:

Accept it

Change it

Leave it

I chose to change it.

I was a very shy child, so much so that it was sometimes difficult for me to introduce myself. My sister used to come to my rescue and say my name! Well I never knew what was the reason behind my shyness or fear of speaking in front of people. This was getting worst by the day. When I went to my new school, I was asked to introduce myself in the class and there I was standing with the blank expression and nothing was coming out of my mouth. It was evident to everyone around that I was struggling and I had become a laughing stock. As I became a teenager, this issue got slightly better but it did not go away. I used to stutter most of the time.

I went to a speech therapist, who was very patient with me. I practiced speaking slowly whenever the fear ¬†emerged but still sometimes I got stuck just uttering my name. I thought maybe the vowel sound of A is the issue so pronouncing ‘Amrita’ was a task!! so why not change my name to ‘Rhea’ or ‘Sana’. But my problem was more of a psychological nature than physical.

I told my self ‘Amrita’ you can overcome this, get hold of yourself, its not a big deal. I noticed that I did not stutter much when talking to my family members or friends.

I decided to take help of my mother and others for motivation and was determined to resolve this issue.

Well this is what I did:

  1. Stand in front of the mirror and practice speech.
  2. Read very slowly almost in a singing tone.
  3. Self motivation talk about fear and shyness
  4. Order on phone for pizza or groceries
  5. Participate in singing and poem recitation(debating was out of question!)
  6. Having the attitude of ‘You can do this my girl!’

With time I started noticing that I was getting better. I still felt the fear but was able to overcome it quickly. Till the time I reached graduation, I was almost normal in speech. I did my MBA and also picked up a job. Guess what? My first job was a role of a student counselor! My role required me to counsel students coming to take admission in the IT related course and solve queries through phone and in person. Then I went on to become a trainer and did voice coaching. Sometimes when I reflect back, I feel very proud of myself. It’s not that I am doing great in my life at present or am very successful in my career but I know for sure that If one believes in something and has a clear vision, perseverance and patience, its possible to achieve it. Today, at this point in my life, It feels like its time to start believing in myself again and achieve what I want. Its a long road, but I get to choose the path! There is light at the end of each tunnel.

 

 

 

 

Is it true that the world hates women?

Just the other day I read about a 7 month baby girl being raped and left to die, it took me a few minutes to comprehend and assimilate exactly what I had just read ! this insanity certainly ¬†was not done out of pleasure! It looked like a hate crime. But guys if you hate women so much how do you think you were born? and assaulting oops! raping an infant that is some psychology even Freud would have struggled with. Its the same story world over. Women of any age,country, size, color are being treated worse than animals, not only raped but tortured after that. It only proves one thing that men are finally proving that they have lost their minds! Is it about power, mental illness, manliness, just for kicks, deep rooted inferiority complexes or sheer madness that men resort to such heinous crime? Of course the law takes its own course but in the meantime these nut cases are busy committing similar crimes believing they are above the law or born on earth only to torture the one specie who is much smarter than them ‘The Woman’. I ask why can’t there be a law which allows the parents, families of the victims to torture the man responsible probably the same way or worst possible way and left to die. There should not be any respite if proven guilty. ¬†Now I am certainely not branding all the ¬†men in the same category but its high time that fathers start educating their sons and lead by example ! This has to STOP!

How are you feeling today?

This is a question which I was always confused about, but my answer mostly was good! Wait what a lie! Really do I know for certain? So I think… am I feeling good, tired, happy, sad or just OK? Well combination would be precise! this does not make sense. What am I doing to change that feeling… lemme think, lets start with thoughts! Good idea but thousands keep pouring, all kinds funny, strange, negative, positive, sad and weird, yes I said it.

I wish I could feel great all the time but how ? Simple, what does not make me feel good don’t think about it instead think about something which makes me feel good,even if it not true but changes the feeling from bad to good. Works for me! Not difficult really, just simply say ‘get out I don’t need you’ to a negative thought and ‘ Welcome positive thought, I really need you.’

But mostly, I notice people are very busy making themselves miserable all the time with unnecessary thinking which in no way is contributing to the’ good feeling’ any way, like my job sucks, my salary is too low, my boyfriend does not care about me, my kids don’t listen to me, I need more money, why did someone lie about me, where is the world going? will there be any peace ever, nothing can go right in this country, oh god I am fat , thin or ugly! the list goes on and on. Of course then the list of “I want“- I want to be rich, beautiful,successful, I want this car, watch, bag, dress, phone and it goes on and on. Until you get that particular thing you almost become a ‘neurotic’. I certainly don’t want to become one. do you? So I realized ¬†only I control how I feel and not any other person or thing. Next time you are asked this question, what will you say?